Conversation [2]

“Love comes and goes. Be sure to accept it when it comes, and to go with it when it goes.” – A friend

Intuitively, the above appeals to me. Such an approach to ‘love’ accounts for both the types of relationships we often experience in youth (less stable, less enduring) and those we often hope to experience later in life (more stable, more enduring). But, I think there’s a critical shortcoming – it oversimplifies the heart’s will. To approach ‘love’ in such a manner doesn’t say anything about transitions. It doesn’t say anything about the love that stays. Sometimes you don’t where where your love is going, if it’s going at all. What do you do, then? You stay, with it. Or do you take the lead? Do you go first, trusting that your love will follow? I don’t know. Those probably aren’t even the only options. Love just doesn’t strike me as a follower.

– JiNiT

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Faith

As dawn’s soft light crawls over the horizon and into homes,
He shifts in bed and rubs the sleep from his eyes.
To the sink, shower, and kitchen he roams,
Preparing for his daily trip to where his heart lies.

He carefully shuts the worn, wooden door behind him.
The earth is cool and crisp is the mountain air.
From the hills above beckons a bird with her hymn,
Soothing his soul with a memory both gentle and fair.

He was a family man, and man was his family.
He gave himself to others without tire,
Beseeching destiny for a treaty.
Yet, never did she acquiesce, never did relent the aching fire.

The gravel crunches under his feet
As he climbs alongside the newborn sun.
Nestled in the bosom of the mountain there waits a seat
For a tired heart seeking a peaceful end to its run.

He was patient, and so he waited,
Waited for the ripple of her name to forfeit unto his mind one full day.
Life’s indifference let him plummet unaided and lifted him high elated,
And yet, thought stubbornly clung to the soft shores of her bay.

Peace permeates the grassy clearing,
And a familiar melody greets him – the passage of a mountain’s tear.
He sits cross-legged and straightens his back, breathing,
Feeling the aroma that he holds so dear.

He still remembers the day they met.
The little grove tucked into the Himalayan foothills insured he never forget.
History racing before his eyes and love rising in his breast, he at last submits to rest.
He exhales, closes his eyes, and gives her one last smile, his best.

The wind reluctantly departed from the man’s chest,
While a respectful susurrus arose from the surrounding trees,
And icy blood quickened as it beheld a petal shaken loose by the scented breeze.
The ancient stream readied a fluid nest,
Resolute that her dance could last an eternity, at best.

-JiNiT

Ex-Mend

It grieves me to inform you that this piece has absolutely nothing to do with the epic mutants popularly known as X-Men. It’s actually about a group of individuals much more powerful – your exes.

Break-ups suck. The feeling is universal. An uncomfortable knot claims your chest. Your movements are incoherent. Your priorities are inaccessible. Thoughts race, emotions surge, the order of one’s life seems to dissolve into suffocating chaos. Confusion, bitterness, sadness, and every now and then, relief hold you captive. And then – it’s over. It passes. You move on. You’re ready for the next one. But, you never REALLY forget about the last one. And, in fact, you shouldn’t.

The lecture hall is filled, so you can’t sit with an empty chair on either side of you like you usually do. You pick a seat between strangers. One of them gives you an enigmatic smile as you sit down. An indecent thought flickers across your mind. You brush it aside and introduce yourself. You don’t learn a single thing in class that day.

A friend request appears in Facebook. You accept with an unexpected flutter in your stomach. A message soon follows, and a smile commands  your lips. You take forever to respond because you choose every word ridiculously carefully. Every class thereafter, you sit together. You exchange numbers, and communication becomes more frequent. It becomes a part of your day. You share what you know, what you feel, what you want. You realize you want more. Bliss melts your defenses when you discover that the feeling is mutual.

Love Prison

Your mind surrenders. You try things for the first time. Intuition prevails over inhibition. You learn, you change, you grow. Memories drive their roots to your cores, and beauty erupts from the collision of your beings. Life is good. You only wish you had met this person earlier. You want it to last forever.

Well, it doesn’t.

There’s a door to your heart. Most people only see one side of it. The outer side. When the right person comes along at the right time, we open this door – we let them in. They gently close the door behind them, and in our hearts they stay. They keep us warm, and our chests swell with their presence.

Until they leave, that is.

It breaks you. To rebuild, you need distance. You sever all remaining ties and put yourself back together, piece by piece. The graceful spirit that once danced on your breath slowly fades. A friend, a lover, becomes a stranger. But, not all is lost. You have a choice. You may lose a friend, but you need not lose what you learned.

Remember the happiness you shared. Remember the conversations that left you thinking, crying, kissing. Remember how you changed. Embrace the scar on your heart. Let it remind you of You-Know-Who, the blinding euphoria of your encounter and the tenacity of circumstance. Don’t make the same mistakes the next time. Be a better friend, a truer lover. Be grateful. Say goodbye, but never forget.

And, hearken, for ever so softly do knock the knuckles of fate.

– JiNiT