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what it feels like

i was sitting for a bit and reflecting on what i wanted to see what i felt like writing, and all these things came to mind, but then i started listening to the music and letting myself see the things that i see, and i saw beautiful things, dancers of cosmic proportions, smilers eternal, and i saw that what i wanted to talk about, feel about, share about, is the feeling of love. this is a word that a lot of people have talked about, that’s kind of crazy to think about, isn’t it? how many words in the language that is human connection have been spoken so many times in so many ways and felt in so many ways in so many places so many times so as to be stitched into, subsumed under, necessarily covalence, to the human element? this fundamental resonance is arguably sufficient to establish the baseline that is the rhythm of the consciousness, and yet, and yet, i look around, and i wonder, where are you? so let’s talk about this blissful painting that is a movie that is a home that is a village that is a world that is a family, let’s talk about how it feels, so we can call it by its name when it gives us the privilege of a wave –

the clouds are waiting, you see them on the regular, looking comfortable up in the far off sky, pleasant and welcoming, soft and loving, holding you, smelling you, feeling you, remembering you and sending you to that place that you call home, the colors of the universe know where the cookie jar is, and they do not mind sticking their hands in, the tale of innocence, a poem that we compose everyday as we try to do something to this, with this, for this, this world, is written, is penned, and is hoped, sometimes desperately so, to be immortalized

this is so, and this we know, but we also know, should we be so undeservedly blessed in this wonderful accident that is life, what it feels like to escape the iron embrace of time, yes, those of us who may smile fondly, even if tiredly, upon fate for her humble beneficence, can say that we have felt love, that we have felt what it feels like to look at a face, to run the side of a hand down the only cheek in the universe to be sculpted as the gems of the diadems and crowns of the happiest guardians, to not want the meeting between lips of magnetic intrinsic unity to be met by the ungrateful backs of the eyes, to want to close one’s eyes and want to keep them open at the same time because the moment is both too momentous and unalterably cast into the putrid penumbra of time, but it is this kind of moment, this type of collision, this magnitude of supernova, that allows us to realize the beauty that is life that is death

the transience of love, when sharing the blood, the material, the soul, of the infinity of love, allows to be seen, allows to come into being, the sweetest breaths to join the ranks of the wind, it allows for the joy of flying to be grounded in the pain of oblivion, it allows for two dynamic universes to come together, cosmocean, form out of the vast nothingness, it allows for the ongoing eternal internal expansion that is the life’s journey of getting to know someone, for the sweetest, most melodious fruit is the endeavor that is to want to continually explore the contents of but one person, a person that is so vast, so oceanic, so gracious, so giving, that to fall into the fluid architecture that is the project of togetherness is but a series of laughs and tears, of friends and partners, a hug that never ends,

the now,

the forever,

the one

-j

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