It grieves me to inform you that this piece has absolutely nothing to do with the epic mutants popularly known as X-Men. It’s actually about a group of individuals much more powerful – your exes.
Break-ups suck. The feeling is universal. An uncomfortable knot claims your chest. Your movements are incoherent. Your priorities are inaccessible. Thoughts race, emotions surge, the order of one’s life seems to dissolve into suffocating chaos. Confusion, bitterness, sadness, and every now and then, relief hold you captive. And then – it’s over. It passes. You move on. You’re ready for the next one. But, you never REALLY forget about the last one. And, in fact, you shouldn’t.
The lecture hall is filled, so you can’t sit with an empty chair on either side of you like you usually do. You pick a seat between strangers. One of them gives you an enigmatic smile as you sit down. An indecent thought flickers across your mind. You brush it aside and introduce yourself. You don’t learn a single thing in class that day.
A friend request appears in Facebook. You accept with an unexpected flutter in your stomach. A message soon follows, and a smile commands your lips. You take forever to respond because you choose every word ridiculously carefully. Every class thereafter, you sit together. You exchange numbers, and communication becomes more frequent. It becomes a part of your day. You share what you know, what you feel, what you want. You realize you want more. Bliss melts your defenses when you discover that the feeling is mutual.
Your mind surrenders. You try things for the first time. Intuition prevails over inhibition. You learn, you change, you grow. Memories drive their roots to your cores, and beauty erupts from the collision of your beings. Life is good. You only wish you had met this person earlier. You want it to last forever.
Well, it doesn’t.
There’s a door to your heart. Most people only see one side of it. The outer side. When the right person comes along at the right time, we open this door – we let them in. They gently close the door behind them, and in our hearts they stay. They keep us warm, and our chests swell with their presence.
Until they leave, that is.
It breaks you. To rebuild, you need distance. You sever all remaining ties and put yourself back together, piece by piece. The graceful spirit that once danced on your breath slowly fades. A friend, a lover, becomes a stranger. But, not all is lost. You have a choice. You may lose a friend, but you need not lose what you learned.
Remember the happiness you shared. Remember the conversations that left you thinking, crying, kissing. Remember how you changed. Embrace the scar on your heart. Let it remind you of You-Know-Who, the blinding euphoria of your encounter and the tenacity of circumstance. Don’t make the same mistakes the next time. Be a better friend, a truer lover. Be grateful. Say goodbye, but never forget.
And, hearken, for ever so softly do knock the knuckles of fate.